It's a dog's life.

Hello everybody, it's Ted.
I have finally managed to get my paws on the iPad with a decent wifi signal while Lyn and Frank are in the supermarket buying more red wine and gin so I thought I'd update you and tell you what's really going on.
We are now on a campsite near Lourdes having been back in France since yesterday. We spent last night on what those two thought was a great campsite just outside a swish French resort callled St.Jean de Luz, near Biarritz. They thought it was a great idea to drag me the 2 miles or so into the town in the heat of the afternoon sun so they could wander round looking at the sights, take some more photographs and sit in yet another square having yet another beer while I curled up under the table pretending to be happy when in fact I  am just permanently knackered with all this heat! OK so our pitch was literally beachside and the crashing of the waves provided a pleasant enough backdrop but to be honest it's all getting a bit tedious now.
I'm fed a diet of dried food with the odd bone in the evening and an occasional drink of water while those two have their beer, wine, gin and tonics etc and Lyn cooks up some wonderful dish or other every night. Or worse still they drag me to some cafe or bar and feed me little bits of bread or something while they indulge themselves.
They do some strange things I can tell you. On our last night in Spain Lyn woke up and asked Frank what time it was. Half asleep and unable to see his watch properly he told her the wrong time. Guess what she did then? Only went and had a shower! When she got back, unable to work out why it wasn't light, the two numpties realised it was still only 4.40 in the morning!! Unbelievable! Another disturbed night for yours truly. I knew what time it was. I never need a wee till 8am!

Anyway, I suppose it could be worse. At least there haven't been any bloody cats on the last two or three campsites. I wouldn't mind  if there were if Lyn and Frank would let me chase them but they won't.....I tell you what, I'd give one of those Spanish/French cats something to think about if I did get one. It seems weeks now since I nearly had that one that ran up a tree.
From what I can gather from listening to their conversations we're heading for Provence next and then going to meet up with my old mates, Lucy and Chaz on the Côte d'Azur in a couple of weeks. I can't wait, to be honest. I love Luce and Chaz and I'm so bored with these two now with their constant photographs and 'Ooh isn't it lovely?' and 'Oh aren't we lucky to be here?'
Well I'd better go and lie down in the back of the van pretending I'm asleep before they come back.
Just remember everybody, whatever those two might have you believe...it's a dog's life here in the sunshine.